I’m feeling random and free, so I decided to post something that applies to every one of us when we meet our grandaunts/aunts/numerous relatives during festive occasions, and have to endure their “beautiful” renditions of love and care. Here are the “Seven Commandments” as applicable to our aunties (Especially those who are rich 50-year-old retirees):
1) Thou shalt eat half a cheese-cake and say “Samuel, you look so thin. Can you finish the rest for me? I’m not hungry.”
2) Thou shalt use year of the rooster/chicken (I can’t remember which is it) angpows in the year of the pig.
3) Thou shalt see your nephews/nieces and go “Hi…. You are this ah..ah..ah…….. ah siang eh gia (person X’s kid in Hokkien)…You are ah…..ah……..” and 15 “ah”s later, you get fed up and fill in the blank and say I’m Y, and I’m the son of person X.
4) Thou shalt ask your fellow Aunties how to cook curry, after which you tell them “You (the other Auntie) should not cook curry that way”.
5) After this , both Aunties quarrel…. (Please tell me what’s the point of asking someone how to do something if you’re going to contradict her anyway.)
6) Thou shalt slam down the phone without saying goodbye.
7) Thou shalt call your nephew and demand “Where’s your grandmother?”, after which you scold your bemused nephew for not knowing where his grandmother is. (Like Hello…. I’m not my grandma’s guardian or something….)
P.S. I’m so happy I finally got down to posting after dunno how long… Actually 520 views for a one-month-old blog isn’t that bad huh (Especially if my stats aren’t supposed to count my own visits)? LINK ME!!!!!