Figures of Speech & Verbal Diarrhoea

I feel random, so today’s entry is dedicated to a few random quotes and jokes from some random (and not so random) people. If you cannot catch the random error(s), look at the italics

1) TOP OF THE CHARTS (This is true, mind you): Person X was telling Person Y (someone who just started learning English) that 2 common phrases are “Feel free me to call me” and “Keep in touch”. Folowing this, Person Y, being extremely “Geh Kiang” (act smart) rearranged the words and added them together, and managed the magnificent concoction of “Feel free to touch me”. Ohya…Person Y was female and Person X was male….Naughty naughty….

2) I cannot hear what you are saying… I must go home and dig my nose.

3) I need to fuuuux (actual pronunciation is fax, in case you didn’t know) you. [Maybe I should have told him that I wanted to fuuuuuuuuuuuux him….]

4) By right, you should be dhyunjgjkhvdjhgdcfghynbvghgv……….. , but by left, you should be…

5) Isn’t Deng Xiaoping a singer? (Imagine someone with a blank, clueless expression on his face, with his History teacher looking on as if he just saw Sadako.)

Sigh….Why do we all make such humiliating errors when we least expect to do so? Btw, if you want to read more interesting stuff, read my previous post below.

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